I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've blown a few things in my day
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
