Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
