party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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