The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please don't give away my fajitas
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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