We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
