wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
