You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
