Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
