??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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