Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
how does that bad decision feel?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
