Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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