You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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