WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
