I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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