You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
