Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
