You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wat bout pragnant strippers??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
