soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
