hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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