i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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