covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
