who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
operation have a gay friend backfired
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
