whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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