i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
