last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Randomize
