gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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