fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You are the jesus of drinking
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
