everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
