I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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