Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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