i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
