Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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