this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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