I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
