WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize