careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
