That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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