I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
