those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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