You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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