So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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