now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize