Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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