You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he shaved USA in his pubs
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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