brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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