Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize