my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
