Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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