i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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