how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
