just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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