if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
