I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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