the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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