I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
