happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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