I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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