i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize