Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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